


Spiderman Gets Propostioned in a Park

by Notlikeothergirlsmuchworse



Series: Gaybasher Bashers [1]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Sex Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 17:57:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21149846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notlikeothergirlsmuchworse/pseuds/Notlikeothergirlsmuchworse
Summary: Peter is investigating rumored gaybashing at a popular gay cruising spot when he runs into the merc with a mouth.





	Spiderman Gets Propostioned in a Park

By the third time he was propositioned Peter figured that maybe he should have put more thought into his outfit. Thankfully he knew enough not to show up at a popular gay cruising park in his Spiderman uniform, but he hadn’t even considered anyone would want to hit on Penis Parker, so he’d come straight from his evening intro to data analytics class at Empire State University. From his seat in the back, he had heard a fellow sophomore three rows up telling his neighbor about his friend’s roommate, who’d come to this same park last night looking for a quick rendezvous and ended up beaten and robbed by some homophobes instead. It wasn’t necessarily the kind of thing Peter would investigate, but when the student had gone on to say the cops at the police station hadn’t even taken down his official statement once he’d gotten patched up at the Emergency Room he knew he was going to head straight there after class, and that was before he’d even heard that apparently the same thing had happened to three other men. Peter believed in sticking up for the little guys of New York City, and it wasn’t fair that the cops weren’t at least taking these attacks as seriously as any other mugging. No one should have to rely on unreliable whisper networks to stay safe while others committed assault and battery with the tacit approval of the police. 

So yes, Peter had a very principled reason to be standing next to a public restroom at night in a park where men looked for hookups with other men. And yes, Peter was also curious, he had only come out as bisexual his freshman year at ESU, but he still hadn’t really acted on it, and he definitely wasn’t going to start with any rando bald middle aged man who gestured at him and into the standalone single stall bathroom. 

Peter knew he wasn’t being fair, no one had pressed the issue (or even really approached him) and they had all shrugged and walked away when he gently shook his head no. Still, maybe he should have changed into something aggressively heterosexual to avoid the leering looks. Maybe if he had swapped out his skinny jeans for pleated khakis, but then he didn’t walk to stick out either…

“COME A LITTLE BIT CLOSER YOU’RE MY KIND OF MAN ,SO BIG AND SO STRONG, COME A LITTLE BIT CLOSER, I’M ALL ALONE, AND THE NIGHT IS SO LONG, BAH BAH BAAAAH”

Horrible, off-key singing pierced the relative quiet and moved toward Peter. He groaned, he really shouldn’t be surprised, he knew exactly who was coming when he heard the first bar. Deadpool wasn’t exactly shy about his sexuality, and he was at least attracted to men enough to proposition Spiderman almost every chance he got. Peter was used to it, he saw Deadpool when the Avengers were desperate enough on a mission to pay the freelance mercenary for help. Anyway, if he thought about it, it wasn’t shocking to hear Deadpool in a popular gay cruising park. Peter couldn’t really consider him a suspect either, stealing strangers wallets was pretty small potatoes relative to the millions Deadpool was rumored to get paid per hit, and say whatever else you wanted about him, he definitely wasn’t a homophobe. He was clearly just here looking for a good time. With any luck he’d find someone else and ignore Peter entirely.

Thinking he could predict Deadpool’s actions was his first mistake. When his familiar costume came into view the singing stopped suddenly. Deadpool squealed loud and shrill, his hands coming up to frame his cheeks like he had seen an adorable baby animal. “OMG look at that cutie!” There was a brief pause then Deadpool spoke again. “Good point. Hey cutie!” he asked Peter as he sidled up next to him, “you cruising or tricking? Cuz daddy’s got a big, fat wallet!” Peter’s mind scrambled for a response, no one else had been anywhere near this blatant. Or called him cute. He had figured he was just getting hit on because he was there and possibly down. It’s not like you needed a supermodel as a partner to have an anonymous quickie. 

Peter settled on saying “Doesn’t matter, I don’t go off alone with people in masks.” He didn’t want to give anything away about himself or his reason for being here, Deadpool was unstable and morally gray at best after all. “Well shucks”, Deadpool responded “I was hoping… yes I know we’re here for another reason, doesn’t mean we can’t kill two birds with one bone lol… yes I know the expression is stone, I was making a joke... sheesh, everybody’s a critic… alright, alright, I’ll focus, geez… well that’s a pretty smart safety policy, can’t say I blame you sweetcheeks, hey, speaking of safety” Deadpool segued in a way he probably thought was subtle “have you been hearing anything about gaybashing going on here?”

Peter knew about the voices in Deadpool’s head. He clogged up the Avengers comms on missions he attended with a constant barrage of chatter, a conversation Peter could only hear part of that was almost never relevant to the current situation. It annoyed Tony to no end, but Peter kind of liked hearing someone else’s banter besides his own, even if it was certifiably insane. Trying to have a two-way conversation with Deadpool was proving infinitely harder though, and he winced trying to think of what to say that wouldn’t give his own investigation away. Even with all his practice, he was still a pretty bad liar.

Deadpool clearly misinterpreted Peter’s facial tic and rushed to reassure him. “Oh it’s not me! I’m not a mugger! How rude of me! please let me introduce myself, I’m Deadpool, the merc with a mouth at your service!” Deadpool bowed with a flourish and finally paused his monologue and looked at Peter expectantly. He was definitely waiting on a name or a response to his earlier question (if he even remembered asking it) but Peter had questions of his own. “You’re a mercenary? So someone’s paying you to kill the gaybashers?” Peter wondered what connected and well to do man they had messed with, this wasn’t exactly a ritzy spot. “Oh no” replied Deadpool “this one’s gratis! Nothing gets the blood flowing like bashing a gaybasher! It’s better than morning calisthenics!.. Yes I would know, I have worked out… these muscles aren’t just padding fellas…” Deadpool continued to ramble on. 

So Deadpool did do some jobs out of kindness and a sense of justice then, or at least something resembling it. Peter could work with that. He wanted these guys caught, and in the end he was willing to stay out of Deadpool’s way if murder wasn’t on the agenda. Peter tuned back into Deadpool’s monologue “... and you wouldn’t have to go off anywhere alone! We could do it here where it’s well lit! So what do you say? I’ll stay in my suit and pay up front. Is anything on the menu that way cutie?” Peter stared at Deadpool. “You want to pay me to have sex with you in the open while you’re wearing a costume.” Peter knew that Deadpool was crazy, and he knew he rarely took his suit off because of his rumored mutilation and disfigurement, but paying random guys to screw him in public in the suit was completely beyond anything Peter had even considered. He tried to ignore the tight ache in his lower abdomen. He had definitely noticed Deadpool’s physique a time or two, but he wasn’t exactly willing to have his first time with a guy that way, and with a probable public indecency charge to boot. “Not happening handsome, but thanks for the offer.” He continued with all the false bravado he could muster, trying to sound sultry and mysterious as he turned Deadpool down. He would probably need to keep pretending to be a prostitute when he teamed up with Deadpool if he saw him here again. But that depended on whether Deadpool was actually dedicated to working this case and not just here on a one time flight of whimsy. But because Peter was curious (and admittedly a little turned on) he slowly reached forward to Deadpool’s face and peeled his mask up to his nose. The blank white eyes of Deadpool’s mask looked blown wide in shock as he watched Peter. Peter took a moment to notice the admittedly extensive scarring and blistering he could see just on the lower half of his face before leaning forward and planting a quick kiss on his lips. 

With that he walked away, deciding to look for a more covert place he could monitor the park from. Getting hit on wasn’t exactly getting him any closer to finding these criminals. As he left he heard a soft gasp then a loud whoop from Deadpool behind him. Peter smiled, maybe he could convince the Avengers to let Deadpool in on their next mission. It would be nice to see him again, and maybe with a little (okay a lot) of work they could help him use his good instincts to become a real hero.


End file.
